Cold Lunch
ONION HEADLINE: Single Mom Shovels Driveway; Considers Settling For That Weird Guy She Went Out With From Match.com

ONION HEADLINE: Single Mom Shovels Driveway; Considers Settling For That Weird Guy She Went Out With From Match.com

Cheap wine, CSN&Y on vinyl, and slippers. This is my Friday night.

Cheap wine, CSN&Y on vinyl, and slippers. This is my Friday night.

WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN WHICH IS OKAY BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO BREATHE UP “THERE”

Despite the fact I’ve experienced some major life changes in the past year, I’m gonna try to keep writing the way I always have and not get way too personal and super fucking weird on here. 

“What are these major life changes?” is what you’re wondering. Well, I didn’t discover Jesus or get AIDS or a tit job or realize I was adopted. I got a divorce.

For awhile I just didn’t feel like “announcing” it or really putting it out there. It seemed unclassy and like a real asshole move to make Twitter jokes about it or vent to strangers about the death of my marriage. Plus, I wasn’t sure I wanted to read dozens of “I’m sorries” when really I didn’t feel like it warranted an “I’m sorry.”

Things change. People change. Or rather, some people don’t change or grow and that can be just as bad. Things weren’t working anymore. Period. A year has passed and everyone is doing well. 

With that being said, my subject matter in the future may be slightly different but I’m still who I was a year or two or five or twelve years ago but my life has changed. I won’t bore you with rude posts about terrible dates or how lonely and miserable I am without a man blah blah blah blah.

Instead I’ll continue to do what I’ve always done - enjoy myself, my three dudes, stupid jokes, good music, writing, and new experiences. 

Sure life is different. You know what else it is? Good.

Saturday night. Alone. FEELS GREAT! I love hanging out with myself. I’ve missed me! xo

Saturday night. Alone. FEELS GREAT! I love hanging out with myself. I’ve missed me! xo

Cute, cunt, whatever. I was seven-years-old and in love.

Cute, cunt, whatever. I was seven-years-old and in love.

ALLOW IT

So I said I was gonna write more AND I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT, but, ya know, living life happens. Speaking of which, I’m gonna spew what my negative Jew mom referred to as “psych-babble bullshit” at you……

Actually, I’m not totally gonna. I was about to type up a bullet point list of feel good stuff and advice but maybe you don’t want/need advice and/or you hate bullet points. So let me sum it up in a sentence:

Be a good person, do nice things, treat others the way you’d like to be treated AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY AND LIVE A GOOD LIFE.

Oh, and dudes, don’t be assholes. Girls, be cool to each other.

Seriously guys, life is fucking awesome when you allow it to be. xxxoxoxo

WORDS

Hey guys. Haven’t been real active on here because I got way into Instagram (still am) and felt like having this was redundant since I mostly just post pics here that I already posted there. 

Anyway……decided I really I ought to get back to doing a bit more writing (even though you goddamn kids can barely find the time to read more than TWO sentences! - myself included, typically). 

My life has been changing in some major ways so surely I should have plenty to say, right? Well, I do. I will. I’m inspired. Let’s do this.

xoxo

Heather! I haven't talked to you in a really long time and just wanted to tell you I still love you and think you're all kinds of fantastic and HI!

Hi! I still think about you and all that stuff too! xo

I live in a…..

I live in a…..

Did this when I was six. I spell better but not much else has changed.

Did this when I was six. I spell better but not much else has changed.